Gracious Discernment - Knowing what is right and wrong but dealing with situations gracefully

The Issue

Sometimes we struggle to give people the benefit of the doubt ... if you know what I mean. Sometimes it can be easy to take a strong dislike to someone's morals and behaviours and ways of living. Generally there are two reasons for why we feel like this: We either (A) ... Genuinely feel that someone is behaving in an ungodly manner or (B) ... Find ourselves not liking someone's behaviour because we wouldn't do what they do. My first point is that an 'A' response would indicate a way of thinking that is in balance with the Holy Spirit, the Word of God and the welfare of other people. A 'B' response, however, can indicate a level of personal insecurity, poor self-esteem, or pride.

Addressing the 'B' response

Here are Three Quick Points to help you address insecurity, poor self-esteem and pride. (1.) Addressing Insecurity: When facing insecurities of any kind they are undoubtedly negative. The best way to deal with anything negative is to search for something positive. EVEN if you don't quite believe it, something you might need to do is change the negative beliefs that you have about yourself by replacing them with those positive beliefs. When on Photoshop, the art program on the computer, a handy tool that you can use to touch up photos is filter. You can add a different colour filter depending on the mood you want the photo to carry. People who are familiar with colour know that if you want your photo to be 'calm' then you place a blue filter over your photo. If you want 'warmth' you place an orange or yellow filter over your photo. For those dealing with insecurity, you need to do is place the 'positive' filter over your negative photo.  (2.) Addressing Poor self-esteem: 'It is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me.' - Galatians 2 v 20. Christ is glorious. When He lives in you, you take on His identity. In Him, you are glorious. This is a very valid reason to believe in yourself. (3.) Addressing Pride: In the same way that the scripture above about our identity being in Christ allows us to believe in ourselves, it also humbles us. In all honesty, we cannot effectively help people when we are overflowing with pride. It can be the easiest trap to fall into pride, but when we discover the drastic results of pride (often through personal experience) it gets easier to avoid this pitfall. A well-known phrase... Pride comes before a fall. We must choose to recognise that God has given other people insight and wisdom, and not just us... Read some books. Watch some sermons. Discover the value that all people have.

Addressing the 'A' response

When we've dealt with our insecurities we can move on to how to deal with the way that we respond to discernment. It can be a trap to think that when we know we've been given discernment by God that it's our job to sort everything out in whatever way that pans out. When it comes to how someone responds to your insight, the WAY we deliver what we've received from God is just as important as what we actually say. For example, ranting at people does not make them happy.

Sometimes we judge people very harshly in our minds, saying 'Oh, because they say this or because they think that, or because they do the other, they mustn't be in a right place with God.' Maybe we're correct that this person has said something or done something in an 'ungodly' way, but sometimes we go about the way we respond to these people in a harsh way. (Maybe we even go as far as committing what seems to be the unforgivable sin. Ranting.) Somehow, a strange sense of humility creeps up on us when the person who we've got an issue with says something along the lines of, 'Jesus Christ is the only way to life and we all need the grace He brings', and when they say something like that, suddenly this person seems acceptable in our oh so spiritual eyes. The discernment we hold may be correct but our reactions can be abysmal. In our discomfort with the original issue - the thing that was said or done that we discerned was not right with God - we insensitively overlook all that is GOOD in that person.

So, we understand that people trip up, we discern whether things are wrong or right, but the most important thing we can do when we speak, react to and act on discernment in regard to others is to show grace.       

'Let those who are wise understand these things. (The wise will understand these things.*) Let those with discernment listen carefully. The paths of the LORD are true and right, and righteous people live by walking in them. But in those paths sinners stumble and fall.' - Hosea 14 v 9.
'Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.' - Colossians 4 v 6.

[Bible Translations: NLT (New Living), *The Voice Bible, NKJV (New King James)]